2017 was a milestone year for me in many ways. I went through some truly amazing experiences – some of them very tough, to say the least – but I don’t know that I have ever experienced such a profound sense of the presence of God, either. Not the least of these was having a heart attack and subsequent open heart surgery. Through that time, God met with me in miraculous ways. This month, I plan to share some of my story – things that I have not shared with very many people yet, for they are too intimate. Almost unbelievable…
But February, the ‘heart month’, seems like the right time to ‘open up’ about my open heart surgery. I pray that readers will find encouragement and renewed faith through the things I want to share.
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During my time in hospital, God began to give me many dreams and visions. Fortunately, I wrote them all down. While waiting in the Dawson Creek emergency ward for a bed in Vancouver, I had a dream where God told me that I had four ‘blockages’ in my spiritual life that needed to be dealt with – fear, doubt, anxiety and pride. I later wrote in my journal that I felt God was using the metaphor of my heart troubles to help me grow spiritually. I didn’t think it would go much beyond the metaphor, but I was grateful for the word and took it to heart.
Several days later, in the hospital in Vancouver, God gave me a very clear vision. This time it was a ‘picture’ of my own heart, but emblazoned on it, following the line of clearly delineated arteries, were four words: Fear, Doubt, Anxiety, and Pride. Fear was a major artery that ran laterally across the top of the heart with Anxiety and Doubt coming off of Fear in a perpendicular fashion. Pride was off to the right by itself, not connected to the other three. Each word was bright – glowing with an inner light that pulsed with the beat of my heart.
The picture was so clear that I had to draw it. It was definitely a confirmation of the previous dream. However, I honestly do not know whether I was asleep, awake, in a trance, or drugged. All I know is, I saw this picture unmistakably and clearly and almost immediately drew a picture of it in my journal.
But here comes the kicker. The medical team performed an angiogram to determine if there were any blockages in my heart and to help them determine a course of treatment. It turns out I had four major blockages and would need by-pass surgery. Patients are given a printed ‘map’ of their own heart showing the blockages. When I saw the picture, I was shocked.
The blockages were in exactly the same places as in my vision! I had a large artery running laterally near the top that was 90% blocked which coincided exactly with ‘Fear’. Branching off perpendicularly downward were two more blocked arteries – exactly where Anxiety and Doubt had been. ( ‘Anxiety’ was 100% blocked and ‘Doubt’ was 70% blocked.) Then off to the right hand side, all by itself, was another 70% blockage – right where ‘Pride’ had been positioned.
God was surely speaking to me, confirming in me that this physical condition also had spiritual significance. I was amazed by the clarity and the power of this revelation, yet His peace was also so strong that I immediately felt a submission in my spirit to His will.
I look at this picture often. It reminds me that God is real when doubt tries to arise. It reminds me that He knows everything and has a plan. It reminds me that there is a connection between the spirit world and the physical world. It reminds me that He is interested in every minute detail of my life.
And finally – and perhaps most importantly – it reminds me that all FEAR, DOUBT, ANXIETY, and PRIDE have been by-passed in my life. I went through tremendous physical pain to get rid of these negative characteristics and I’m not going to let them take over again.
I’ll be telling more of my story in future posts. If you think someone would benefit from this story, please share!