The End of an Era

At the beginning of this month, I stepped away from something that has been a very integral and important part of my life for the past several years. I decided not to let my name stand for another term as president of InScribe Christian Writers’ Fellowship.

I didn’t make the decision lightly. ICWF – or InScribe as we like to say for short – is a Canada-wide organization for Christian writers that I have been a part of for over a decade. I got involved early, volunteering behind the scenes in various capacities until I found myself on the executive, first as VP and then as President for the past three years. (Since the fall of 2018.)

During that time, I made genuine friendships and connections that I know will last a lifetime. It was wonderful (and eye-opening at times) to be part of the inner workings of such a group. However, my ongoing health issues made me realize that something had to give – again – and I knew it was time to let it go.

This isn’t the first time I’ve had to ‘let go’ in the past few years. First, it was my job as a high school teacher. So much of my identity was tied up in that job, especially my role as ‘Drama teacher’. Then, even after my official retirement from public school, I realized I had to let some other things go too, such as my desire to stage a “Passion Play”, my involvement with my local arts council, and some of my other volunteer activities at church.

I’ve been slowly paring it down. In some ways, it is a relief. I am excited about having more time to devote to my writing, and I still work as an online support teacher, so it’s not like I’m sitting around twiddling my thumbs. Still, I felt an initial emptiness that surprised me.

I had a dream the night after I stepped down. I was back in my Art classroom. All the students were making beautiful art, but none of them knew me or remembered who I was. I woke up feeling a deep sense of loss. Immediately upon waking I knew the dream wasn’t really about teaching art, because I’ve come to terms with the loss of that part of my identity…

Instead, I think the dream was my subconscious trying to deal with another “end of an era”. Working behind the scenes with InScribe has been a big part of my life these past several years. It has taken a lot of my attention, time, and energy. I am looking forward to the extra time I will have to focus on other aspects of my life, not to mention being able to let go of some of the more stressful aspects of the job! It is necessary for my health, and I also believe it is in God’s perfect timing. But I realize that stepping away from my involvement at the executive level is a loss. It’s another layer of my ‘identity that I am leaving behind, so it’s natural that I may feel a bit empty or melancholy for a time…and that’s okay.

To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under the heavens. Ecclesiastes 3:1 (KJV)