Counting the Loss

May 17. The day Dad passed away in 2012. He would have been 86 years old later that summer. Yes, he was ‘old’ but for those that loved him, we still miss him…

I think it’s why, during this Covid 19 crisis, we need to have a little more sympathy, if you will, for those who have lost loved ones. The majority of them were old, granted, but they were still important to those they loved and who loved them. They were people who lived and loved; accomplished things and made mistakes. Their lives mattered.

Dad was always a very active man, golfing, skating and even playing hockey until his eighties. He suffered a couple of minor heart attacks and strokes but didn’t let that keep him from his love of sports, or his love for family. He was an entrepreneur with exceptional sales skills, liked by most people that met him. Unfortunately, he made some hurtful mistakes along the way, too. I know what it feels like to suffer pain when your parents divorce… Some of those emotions run deep, even now, but I also have such a profound love for him, still, that I can’t help shedding a tear when I think about him. I am glad he gave his heart to Jesus in his latter years, and look forward to seeing him again one day.

These ‘anniversaries’ are markers in our lives that have lasting impact. My list includes my Mom, who died in 2007. She was vibrant, creative, artistic and sometimes ‘quirky’ and I owe so much of who I am to her, including my faith.

Both my husband’s parents also have passed on, my mother-in-law in 2004 after a battle with dementia, and my father-in-law who passed suddenly of a heart attack at age 66 back on New year’s Eve of 1993. Probably one of the most heart wrenching was my brother-in-law who died in a car crash at age 29 in 1983. My husband also lost another brother more recently to a heart attack when he died in 2014 at age 66, just like his father…

Like most people, the list could go on. I’ve mentioned my immediate family, but I’ve lost cousins, friends, and colleagues, as I’m sure most of us have. I don’t write about it here to make you feel sad, though. Instead, let’s celebrate the lives of those we’ve lost, never forgetting that just as their lives matter to us, so the lives of those around the world who have lost loved ones, be it to Covid 19 or by other means, matter to those they affected. They aren’t just ‘old people’. They were someone’s people.